All wine is sexy. The history, the culture — even the aesthetics, what with sleek bottles, arty labels, and delicate stemware — perk any drinker’s interest, stimulate her senses, open her to adventure.
Yes, but which is the sexiest wine of them all? To that question, among wine lovers, there is but one answer: pinot noir.
Pinot noir is one of a handful of “noble” grape varieties. Like cabernet, pinot fruit enjoys a long history of being fashioned into the world’s most famous, collectible, and expensive wines. In the Burgundy region of France, for example, postage-stamp-sized vineyards yield practically microscopic amounts of excruciatingly expensive nectar. All true red Burgundy is 100 percent pinot noir, some of it $500-plus a bottle on release (if you can get your hands on it), more at auction.
Happily for the rest of us, some brave winemakers outside of Europe have successfully cultivated pinot noir in places like California and Oregon, especially in cooler-climate spots that approximate the weather in Burgundy. In spite of the vine’s famous sensitivity — and because of the movie Sideways, for which pinot should have won an Oscar for best supporting roll — regular wine drinkers can purchase good pinots at a price point that will not induce nosebleed.
But why pinot’s sexy reputation? A pinot noir, made right, is like a femme fatale: velvety, sensual, seductive, and with an edge and a mystery that makes it one of the most intellectual of all wines. I know dozens of wine lovers who, after decades of experimenting with everything from Chilean merlot to Hungarian tokaj, were so riveted by a bottle of pinot noir, they never went back. I don’t know of any other grape variety that causes that sort of besotted, monogamous drinking.
Plus, most pinot noir comes in the gracious, feminine, slope-shouldered Burgundy-style bottle (pictured above).
My tasting group the Ladies Tasting Society decided to try a variety of Californian and Oregonian pinots of various prices and vintages. (Domestic pinot is more accessible than red Burgundy because, for example, it actually says “pinot noir” on the label; you can also get a top-notch bottle for less than $50.) But I have to say that, although we enjoyed the wines, they did not seduce us. The ladies theorized that these “new world” versions weren’t consistently capturing the finesse of French Burgundy; nor were they ageing gracefully. As a result, the young ones were lusty, yes, but not romantic; the grandes dames, alas, had lost their mojo.
Pinots: A Mixed Case
BEST OF TASTING
Archery Summit Pinot Noir 2002 (Oregon) $35
Fulfilled pinot’s purple reputation. A dark beauty, hugely perfumed with black cherry, chocolate, and animal notes, leading irresistibly into a big, cherry midpalate, a pervy touch of minerals, and an extra long finish. We’re ruined! Grade: B+
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BEST VALUE
Castle Rock Pinot Noir 2003 (Mendocino County, California) $9
Surprisingly, this young ruby-colored wine developed as it sat in the glass. Its bouquet gained complexity, the finish lengthened, and we got cherry, pomegranate, and currant flavors. Still, said one lady, “Tastes like somebody pants-ed me.” Grade: B-
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Martinelli Pinot Noir “Bella Vigna Vineyard” 2002 (Russian River Valley; Sonoma, California) $45
Thanks to her trademark, extra-ripe fruit flavors, some ladies knew instantly that this was the work of famous winemaker Helen Turley. Darkly colored, dense, black cherry and a touch of prune flavors, with a long finish. Controversial. Grade: B
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Calera Pinot Noir “Jensen Vineyard” 1997 (Mt. Harlan; San Benito County, California) $75
Some ladies liked the complex, mineral flavors and relaxed fruit of this clearly well-made pinot from a great vintage. Others thought: over the hill. Grade: B-
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Hip Chicks Do Wine Pinot Noir Reserve 2002 (Oregon) $22
The sense of humor of the two dykes who own this winery brims over into their reserve pinot: it’s fun and packed with sweet red cherry flavors. Grade: B-
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Signorello Pinot Noir “Las Amigas Vineyard” 1996 (Carneros; Napa, California) $48
No debate here. A delicious, pedigreed wine – five years ago. Grade: C -
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